My Little Green Monster

We all have one. Even if it may look a little different to us. For some it’s really ugly and takes over, but for others it’s silent monster and whispers on occasion. I have the silent but deadly version and it pops up when I’m eager to be on the move or to grow up. I’m constantly wishing and waiting for my life to begin. To be able to travel somewhere new and exciting, to have my dream job (if someone figures out what this may be, please let me know), to live a brilliant and exciting life with a vast future. That’s what I crave, but I find myself constantly throwing reminders out that everything will happen in due time. I just wish I knew when that would be.

The hard part is that graduation just came and went and it’s a little like spring- a bunch of new growth and flowers sprouting out everywhere you turn. And I desperately just want to be one of those flowers. So, so, so many people I know have started their Masters, moved cross country (or anywhere at all, really), got their dream jobs or internships and have “officially” become an adult. Here I am, wanting to be like ‘Oh, hey I’m ‘officiallyyyy….. a loser’, but I know I’m not. Big things are coming my way and I’m working extremely hard to make them happen. I guess the only difference is that I can’t talk about any of it. I don’t want to jinx anything, even though I’m beyond thrilled about the future I have waiting for me at the end of what seems to be the longest road of my life.

I’m thinking that my lesson to learn here is patience. I have some of it, but we can all do with a little more; of that I am sure. I need to take a step back and embrace the good and I have a lot of it, even when it seems like I don’t. These next few months are going to be a whirlwind of adventures, work, progress, creativity, and growth. Some flowers just need a little nurturing and not all bloom in the spring. Maybe that’ll be my new mantra.

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